As you know, zombies are almost always lethargic and slow so for the most part it is difficult to be taken by surprise by them. Today was an exception.
I had my yearly check-up by my doctor this afternoon. I knew she would want to do a round of blood tests, so I fasted all morning. I even some how managed to slug through the first hours of the day without my usual iced coffee! So coffee deprived and hungry I managed to get through the appointment and then find my way to the nurses station so they could (as the nurse put it) "drain my blood".
Nurses, and anyone else trying to take my blood for that matter, always have trouble finding a vein that will "produce". Apparently I have every difficulty that one can posses to make it hard to give blood. My veins are deep in my arm; they roll away from needles; they have a tendency to close up once the blood flow starts; etc, etc. I am what the medical field refers to as a "hard prick". Seriously. It says that on my medical chart. (When do nurses find the time to make up this secret language anyway?) So after the nurse sees that, she is already nervous about taking my blood before she even tries. "Don't worry, I'm used to it. Just do your best." I say and turn my head away from her so I at least don't have to watch. So with a shaking hand she proceeds to stab me several times, cuss under her breath, and stab me a few more times for good measure. Just as I was about to tell her to give it up, she yells in triumph and my blood starts to flow. She grabs about a hundred little vials she wants to fill and starts changing them out.
Several minutes and what feels like 10 quarts of blood later the nurse suddenly lets out another scream. At first I think she has dropped a vial of my blood or something so I kept my head turned away from her. With my head woozy and my stomach empty the last thing I need to see is my blood spilled all over the floor. But after a moment I heard a wet chewing sound and whipped my head around (to fast!) to see a fresh zombie with his mouth pressed firmly against the nurses throat. Apparently another patient had died and once he had re-awoken had been drawn to the sent of (MY) fresh blood! I jumped up from my chair (way to fast) and looked around for a weapon. I realized that the needle was still dangling out of my arm so I plucked it out and plunged it into the zombie's eye. He started to let out a scream, and his hands pawed at my arm but I shoved it even deeper into his eye socket until it lodged itself into his brain. Of course at that point he re-died, but the damage had been done. I looked down at the nurse. Her neck was broken, there was a gaping bite wound on her throat, and her cute Winnie the Pooh & Eeyore scrubs were soaked in blood.
It was a shame. She had been a nice lady, and despite her inadequate blood drawing skills, she had been a pretty good nurse AND she had been fond of Winnie the Pooh. As she sprang to life, I picked up my chair and smashed her head in. I was ready for this one.
I'll have to find a new doctor now. They should have had that other patient on death watch long before he had died. I just won't be able to trust that doctor anymore and that sucks! Trying to find a good doctor is almost impossible, yet it is so important in today's society. After all everyone wants to put off becoming a zombie as long as possible.
Well until next time:
May your creative juices keep flowing and your brain remain uneaten.
Karrisa xxX
teehee Love it, makes me giggle, hehehe
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